Goodbye
by BatmansBabe
Summary: It was silent for a moment. Sawyer stared at Kate, and Kate stared at Sawyer, appraising each other.


_AN: So I was looking through all my old stories, trying to make room on my jump drive for more work, and I found this, and went to check the version I'd uploaded, and, lo and behold, it was screwy. So here it is, new and improved. It's, of course, AU now, but it was spec on "Collision". Before, you know, I ever heard ANYTHING about "Collision" or had even seen "Abandoned". Just so you know. lol _

She'd seen him first, at the edge of the small group; speaking to a woman she didn't know. She was pointing to people, and he seemed to be explaining who they were. She watched as the woman asked a question, and when he gave his answer, the woman laughed, a rich laugh Kate could never hope to have. And then the woman nodded to Kate.

He looked up, hair falling in his face, obscuring his view for a moment. He brushed it back, and then he was staring at her. She saw his mouth curl up just enough to show the adorable dimples, and then he looked down, almost bashfully, muttering something. The woman grinned and nudged him, and he shoved back.

Kate saw Jin, his arms around Sun in a hug that would have crushed one of them if they weren't both hugging so tightly. And she saw another woman, this one blonde, and a black man, speaking to Jack.

It took her a moment to decide where she was going. She glanced at Jack again, only a few feet away, and the two people talking to him, and she was curious to know what was going on.

But then she looked off down way a bit, and her eyes caught the other woman's. He was still with her, standing close, his hand at his shoulder, squeezing it tightly enough to induce pain. She remembered the pang in her chest when Sun had pulled the green bottle from the sand, remembered how it felt to search frantically for something, anything to hold onto a man she never got the chance to say goodbye to.

Kate took off at a steady pace, moving her eyes to stare at a spot just beyond his head. Her pace was a bit faster than the other two's, and she met them more than halfway. She caught the tail end of whatever he was saying.

"…just because you thought he was nice at a bar in Sydney don't mean you should harp on me about not liking him. I know him better than you do, Cupcake."

"Don't call me that."

"You like Rambina better?"

"Sawyer, if you don't—."

"Throw a rock at me. See if I care. Hell, I got injuries from women all over. Rock to my knee, rock to my head, bullet to my shoulder…"

"Michael said a man shot you."

"Sure as hell looked like a woman to me."

The woman looked up and grinned at Kate, who was closing in on them quickly. She coughed indiscreetly, and he looked up as well.

It was silent for a moment. Sawyer stared at Kate, and Kate stared at Sawyer, appraising each other. And then Kate stepped forward, and, on tiptoe, reached up to hug him. One arm she slung tightly around his neck, and the other went under his the arm he was holding. She heard him suck in a breath—whether out of pain or astonishment she didn't know, and then his arms pulled her in just a little bit closer. He tucked her head under his chin, and they stood like that for a time neither bothered to count.

When she finally let her grip loosen, they pulled back, grinning stupidly. Kate tucked a strand of clean hair behind her ear, glancing down at his shoes. "Hi," she told his knees.

"Hi," he said back. She looked up at him again, and he seemed to realize something. He gestured to his side, talking quickly. "This is…" he glanced around to where the woman had been. "Well. That _was_ Ana-Lucia."

They were quiet for a while, staring at anything but each other. Kate tucked her hair behind her ear again. "There was something I never got to say to you. You know. When you left. On…the raft."

"Please tell me it wasn't 'Don't go, there are men with guns. And there are sharks'."

She smiled up at him. "No. I just…"

He nudged her. "What?"

"I never got to say goodbye." Tears came to her eyes unbidden, and she bent her head to hide them. "I just…wanted to say it." She closed her eyes in embarrassment at the rasp her voice made.

When the tear escaped from her eye, she'd expected it to hit the ground. She watched it start to fall, watched it gain momentum, and then a hand flitted out to grasp her chin, letting the tear fall onto the plane of the palm.

Sawyer jerked her head up, and she tried to will her eyes to dry in the time it took to get from his shoes to his eyes. No such luck.

"Hey," he said, when she tried to pull away, and his good arm swung around and caught her by the waist before she could take off. He pulled her to him again, ignoring her protests, and held her close to him. Gasping sobs escaped her, and she took in shaky breaths to stem the flow of her tears.

Kate felt his lips on her scalp, felt the slight pull as his arm pushed her closer to him, and she burrowed her face deep into his chest, searching for his heartbeat, anything that would ground him to her world.

It didn't sound right. The beat wasn't right. It was slower than she'd ever heard a heart beat. She jerked back, searching for anything to explain it.

It was in plain sight. Not bothering on ceremony, she pushed his shirt back; enough to take a good look at the hole in his arm. "God—Sawyer! You're hurt."

"Flesh wound, Freckles."

The voice behind them startled Kate. "He's collapsed three times in six days."

It was the woman who Sawyer had been talking to earlier, walking with Jack.

As Ana-Lucia stopped beside Kate, Jack moved forward, reaching for the wounded arm.

Sawyer howled when Jack grabbed the arm, trying to shrug the doctor off. "Get off me, Jackass!"

"It's infected. You're lucky to be alive right now."

"I don't give a damn what your diagnosis is, Doc, I don't need—."

He stopped, and Kate saw his eyes begin to roll back into his head. Then he was back, rubbing his temple.

"I need to examine you, and then you need to rest."

"Look, I'm telling you I don't—."

"Sawyer." It was Kate, her eyes glistening with tears again. "Please."

The look he gave her left little to the imagination. It was a look with the kind of intensity he never gave except to that worn piece of paper in his pocket, and he opened his mouth in what would most likely have been to agree… and promptly passed out.

Jack began calling out orders, and people around him rushed to action. Kate watched in silence, feeling as if she were on the outside looking in, like this wasn't real, wasn't happening to her. Then Sawyer was being lifted toward the nearest tent, and someone was rushing through the trees for Jack's bags.

Ana was still next to her, and when she spoke, Kate didn't really pay attention. "Hey!" She hissed, and Kate jumped.

"What?" Was Kate's soft answer.

"You're Kate, right?

"I'm Kate."

"Ana-Lucia."

"I know. He…he told me."

"So…you're kind of together."

Kate's gaze shifted back to the tent, and she thought about the question. "Um…no. I…we…no. No, we're not together."

"So him asking for you in a delusional fit was just…picked out of thin air?"

In her fuzzy mind, it took a while for the gravity of the words to hit. She sucked in a deep breath. "He asked for me?"

"Actually, it was more like he mumbled your name continually. But yes. He asked for you."

"We never said goodbye."

"Okay…"

"I… I was mad at him, and he was leaving on the raft. I just left. I couldn't say goodbye to him. And then when I looked for him he wasn't there. What if…"

"I have a feeling he'll be fine. If he really wanted to die like he tries to make everyone think he does, he'd be long gone. He'll fight it."

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

He groaned himself to life a week later, and Kate was next to him. Without speaking, she held the water bottle up for him, and when he moaned weakly again, she poured it into his mouth for him.

He gave a raspy chuckle. "Freckles, you can nurse me any time."

"Shut up and drink."

"Yes ma'am."

Libby had told her earlier that day all that had happened since Sawyer had first collapsed, and she was still reeling from it.

When she took the time to live and breathe in the real world again, she found her hand had been encompassed by Sawyer's much larger one.

She sighed, scooting closer to him, resting her head on his chest. Eventually, she raised her head again to look at Sawyer.

"Do you remember everything you said? On the way back?"

He was quiet. "Most of it."

"So, when Michael said you—?"

"Yep."

"And what Ana said…?"

"Had a dream about you."

"And…when you asked Libby to…?"

"Didn't think I was gonna make it. Woulda been a hell of a lot more romantic if I'd died and left you with that."

She smiled softly, letting her head fall again.

"What was it about?"

"What?"

"Your dream."

He gave a deep chuckle. "You were Nurse Betty."

"Don't lie."

He sighed, deep and low. "You were just…there. In front of a fire or swimming or smiling…"

"You really dreamt that."

"And the Nurse Betty thing."

"Sawyer."

"I'm not lying. You were in one of them uniforms, with the hat and everything, and you were taking my temperature and listening to my heart with one of them stethoscopes."

"Sawyer."

"You fed me chicken noodle soup."

"Sawyer."

"And then when I got better you fed me something even better. Three times."

"Sawyer!"

"It was MY dream!"

"You don't have to be disgusting. You always ruin a moment."

"We were having a moment?"

"Sawyer."

"You're cute when you blush."

She buried her face in his shirt, her face burning. "Shut up," she told him, her voice muffled.

"It's cute!"

"I hate blushing. And my freckles. Everyone always made fun of me for my freckles. And it was ten times worse when I blushed with freckles."

"Well, I like them."

"Yeah right."

"Someday I'll show you. When I'm not too tired to get up."

"You're tired? You should have told me. You should have ignored me and just gone back to sleep."

"No way, Freckles. We were having a moment."

She shook her head, getting up to leave, but Sawyer tugged her closer. She half-fell on top of him, and his arm snaked around her waist again, hugging her close to him. He planted one soft kiss on her neck and released her.

At the edge of the tent his voice turned her again. "Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Goodbye."

She tried to hide a grin, and failed miserably. "Get some sleep. I'll see you later."

She let the tent flap fall behind her, and as she moved away, she heard him muttering.

"Talk about ruining a moment. Wanted to say goodbye my ass."

And then he sighed, a happy sigh that made Kate's grin widen.


End file.
